Day 7-So this this is a bit awkward

So guess what guys i’m a shitty person and haven’t uploaded in a while. I swear I start my blogs with those words so often it might as well be my intro. Also my last post was kinda depressing and i don’t want my blog to turn into a huge sob fest where people go to when they want to feel sad which is kinds weird now i think about it. Could you imagine doctors prescribing you depressing blogs when they think you’ve become too optimistic? Weirdddd. Anyways i might as well fill you in on my boring ass life. After summer i’ve literally been spending all my weekends inside with a duvet around me scrolling through tumblr. I’ve actually been sick for a month now and i think i’m dying guys.

I know this may seem a little dramatic, but i think i’m going to die alone. Most of my friends are in relationships (why at our age? idk). The most romance i’ve ever gotten was my first kiss and that was horrible. So in an effort for you guys to get to know me better I might just tell you about it. Will i regret it tomorrow probably, but I’ve had about 3 coffees and its 10 o’clock at night so i don’t give a damn. So here goes the story of how my lips made contact with another individuals.Dun. Dun. Dun. (basically every asian parents nightmare).

My first kiss

It was a rainy Tuesday morning when- you know what I can’t be asked let me break it down into bullet points:

  • My family and some family friends decided it would be a good idea to travel to Brighton and stay in a hotel for a few weeks (You know instead of actually going abroad because thats way too dangerous) in the summer of 2015.
  • Said family friends included a set of twins that were only a year older than me. A boy (who i literally never talked to) and a girl who was quite a good friend.
  • When we arrived in Brighton we went to our respecting hotel rooms and caused a huge disruption to everyone else staying in that hotel room cause we’re the loudest freaking family ever.
  • The next day our parents went shopping and all the children (other than my sister who was too old and cool to hang out with us) decided to go to beach and the pier.
  • We went to the pier where we went on all the rides, spent far too long in the arcade and posed for pictures.
  • Anyways my brother really wanted to go on the bumper cars again and seeing as i was on the verge of almost fainting after going on all the rides my friend went with him instead. Leaving me with alone the guy i barely spoke to. Yeah not fun.
  • He started talking to me about how we never talk (Great convo starter.. not) and wanted to know more about my personal life and i was just not in the mood and replied with one word answers which now i look back is really rude seeing as he was making an effort.
  • They were taking too long so we went in search of some food (cuz we’re little pigs) and he was telling me about how he and his friend decided to do this challenge where you have to kiss 50 girls over the summer (gross). It got a bit awkward and i got a better insight on who this guy actually was. However out of nowhere he kisses me and to say i got pissed off was kinda an understatement.
  • I just found out i was robbed of my first kiss with Chris Hemsworth in the french alps (dont judge me)  to a dick on the Brighton pier and it was for a challenge. I reacted how any self respecting classy woman would, shouting in his face and running back to the others whilst giving him the silent treatment and the evils for the rest of the trip.

So yeah that was quite a long description for what was only few seconds. Anyways now that you’ve had a look into my sad love life (not much to look at really). Please don’t tell me i’m not the only one who had a horrible first kiss experience. So i guess bye.

Day 6 :/

Okay so i just received some really upsetting news and i’m just honestly sick of using up my toilet paper crying in the bathroom, so i’m just trying to distract myself from it. I’ve realized that this page has been more like an online diary as opposed to a rant page. Even though the whole blog is called Rants, Raves and mother freaking Rambles. My heads just all over the place right now, so don’t expect this post to be edited and oragnised. I just love writing drafts that is basically a diary entry about the day I just had. I seem to have a habit of writing posts at night. I’ve just had my 2nd cup of coffee in the past 2 hours and i just don’t know anymore. This is saying a lot because coffee is basically my Kryptonite, but today it seemed like the nectar of the Gods. I’ve also been listening to a lot of mellow music to basically calm me down and de stress me and this is my faves in case anyone wants to wind down:

  • Billie Jean- EDEN (It’s a cover)
  • 500 miles-Sleeping at last (also a cover of another iconic song)
  • Invitation- Yellowclaw
  • Northern Wind- City and Colours
  • Golden – Ruth B

I don’t know there’s a lot more i just really don’t know anymore. This is such a sappy post which is a bit ironic since I got nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award, which I will post someday. Is it weird that I kinda feel like a writer. I’m in my Christmas pyjamas  with the laptop drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. I just made another one and i know i should stop, but none of my parents are home right now so there’s not really anyone to stop me. I really don’t know what i’m going to do when I move out. Do you ever just feel like you stick out? Because of this news I’ve just placed all mt concentration on everything i said today and what others have said to me. Okay so if you’ve read my other post you’d know that i attend a Grammar School and although i love the people there i’ve realised that i really stick out and not in a good way. I’m not rich (unlike most people there). We were basically discussing our houses (idek how we got there). Basically just to put it out there I don’t come from a great neighbourhood. There are a lot of “chavs” (i don’t really like using that word) and the crime rate is really high. Arson attacks and stabbings are really common in our area (our neighbour got robbed twice). I know that that’s not that common, but i’ve just gotten used to it now. My friends however  reacted telling me how they would move out of there as soon as they could. This just kinda put this in perspective. I mean we’re not poor or anything, but they literally live in million dollar houses and it just seemed like they were boasting and i just really felt uncomfortable. I’m probably just overreacting, but bad news just piled up today and i just seem to be focusing on stupid shit and i need to cleanse myself.

I feel like going to confession tomorrow, which is really weird because i’m not religious like at all (unlike my parents), but i just have an urge to go to confession. This may been like the 6 billionth time i’ve said this today, but i really don’t know whats going on in my life. WOW this has been a really boring post and i wouldn’t be surprised if i don’t get view on this, but i really needed to write this i guess. I also really need to do my textiles homework so i guess bye.