Okay so i just received some really upsetting news and i’m just honestly sick of using up my toilet paper crying in the bathroom, so i’m just trying to distract myself from it. I’ve realized that this page has been more like an online diary as opposed to a rant page. Even though the whole blog is called Rants, Raves and mother freaking Rambles. My heads just all over the place right now, so don’t expect this post to be edited and oragnised. I just love writing drafts that is basically a diary entry about the day I just had. I seem to have a habit of writing posts at night. I’ve just had my 2nd cup of coffee in the past 2 hours and i just don’t know anymore. This is saying a lot because coffee is basically my Kryptonite, but today it seemed like the nectar of the Gods. I’ve also been listening to a lot of mellow music to basically calm me down and de stress me and this is my faves in case anyone wants to wind down:
- Billie Jean- EDEN (It’s a cover)
- 500 miles-Sleeping at last (also a cover of another iconic song)
- Invitation- Yellowclaw
- Northern Wind- City and Colours
- Golden – Ruth B
I don’t know there’s a lot more i just really don’t know anymore. This is such a sappy post which is a bit ironic since I got nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award, which I will post someday. Is it weird that I kinda feel like a writer. I’m in my Christmas pyjamas with the laptop drinking my 3rd cup of coffee. I just made another one and i know i should stop, but none of my parents are home right now so there’s not really anyone to stop me. I really don’t know what i’m going to do when I move out. Do you ever just feel like you stick out? Because of this news I’ve just placed all mt concentration on everything i said today and what others have said to me. Okay so if you’ve read my other post you’d know that i attend a Grammar School and although i love the people there i’ve realised that i really stick out and not in a good way. I’m not rich (unlike most people there). We were basically discussing our houses (idek how we got there). Basically just to put it out there I don’t come from a great neighbourhood. There are a lot of “chavs” (i don’t really like using that word) and the crime rate is really high. Arson attacks and stabbings are really common in our area (our neighbour got robbed twice). I know that that’s not that common, but i’ve just gotten used to it now. My friends however reacted telling me how they would move out of there as soon as they could. This just kinda put this in perspective. I mean we’re not poor or anything, but they literally live in million dollar houses and it just seemed like they were boasting and i just really felt uncomfortable. I’m probably just overreacting, but bad news just piled up today and i just seem to be focusing on stupid shit and i need to cleanse myself.
I feel like going to confession tomorrow, which is really weird because i’m not religious like at all (unlike my parents), but i just have an urge to go to confession. This may been like the 6 billionth time i’ve said this today, but i really don’t know whats going on in my life. WOW this has been a really boring post and i wouldn’t be surprised if i don’t get view on this, but i really needed to write this i guess. I also really need to do my textiles homework so i guess bye.