Day 25- There is literally no structure to this one

I mean it’s as simple as the title (that literally makes no sense now as i changed the title, but i can’t think of a different opening now so), i changed my blog layout again. If any of you were here from the birth of of Rants, Raves and Rambles then you would be aware that i was very worried about the aesthetics of this blog. I changed the theme almost every week, because i wasn’t satisfied the the old one. My former one lasted the longest and although i was content with it i didn’t actually like it. If i am going to be honest i will probably change this one too so yeah.

I also want to change what i write about as nowadays i’ve just been writing about actual topics, which is actually a good thing, but i just miss the days when i would just rant about all my first world problems coffee induced at 11, with little to no editing. Writing when the sun hasn’t set just feels unnatural to me. I like the atmosphere of writing when its dark outside with a coffee in hand. I have no idea the fuck why, its probably more productive to write in the morning, but i honestly can’t be asked. I’ve also been procrastinating like crazy. I’ve basically ditched my camp nano story, i mean i’m writing it in my head and have analysed the fuck out of my characters, but i just can’t get pen to paper. I also have a shit ton of essays due, my fault for choosing 3 humanities (whyyyy) and my end of years are coming up so you know theres that.

I also have hated the fact that i usually stayed inside the majority of of my holidays. I usually don’t make plans with people in the holidays for the most part, because i like staying inside being an asocial twat, but i actually went out of my way to make sure i have plans every single day of this easter holiday and it was going perfectly until today. I arranged to meet up with a group of people i’ve basically known my whole life, but we haven’t really met up lately and our groupchat’s kinda dead. We go to different schools so i thought i would re-kindle our friendships and its was planned to perfection until they decided to cancel TODAY MORNING. I was so pissed and their reason for canceling was because one of the guys got invited to go ice-skating with another mutual close friend of mine. Therefore they thought it would be a good idea to call off the whole thing because of that one guy. We’re meeting up again on Friday which has totally messed up my schedule. I’m too much of a pussy to actually confront them on their bs-itude (its totally a word) so i’m just ranting about it here.

I’ve also been wanting to share more personal things in my life on this blog, but i’m actually really scared real life people will find it. I have a bunch of shit about my living situation, my health and other bullshit i’m dealing with. I have also realised that i don’t have anyone i can share this with. I’ve hinted about it before, but to be honest its like they could really give a shit anymore. So yeah i might just do that, because writing it down isn’t enough for me and its kinda slowly eating me away.

So that was really serious, god lets save that for a different depressing post yeah. So in other news i thought i should let you know that i got sent my first ever dick pic yesterday. Before you all ask and judge me i did not ask for this picture. My “friend” started sending me very graphic texts about what he would do to me *vomits* and i sent back numerous sarcastic texts thinking that his friends had hijacked his phone. He then replies to this by sending pictures of his lower regions. Jesus i don’t think i’ve ever been so traumatised. I immediately deleted these and blocked his number, because i was informed by my sister, who has unfortunately a lot of experience with this, that it is illegal to have these pictures on your phone. He then DMed me on my personal twitter and Instagram asking why i blocked him. Seriously you are honestly asking me why i blocked you. Really?? I am honestly bricking it thinking about going back to school and seeing him. So yeah these past couple of days have been really weird for me. So yeah i guess bye.