wonder woman and there will be spoilers because i need to vent (28)

*reading this back i’m kinda cringing on how excited i was, but honestly this movie made me fell so empowered and giddy inside, well most of it. It just affected me so much and i really liked it*


Okay so my exams are over and i was going to write a post, but it just seemed kinda boring to write about how i did in my exams so here i am. I have an INSET today and tomorrow is staff training day (or vice versa), so i just went out into London with my friends and watched wonder woman and my god i still have goosebumps just thinking about that film. After what seems like the endless bad days i’ve had this one actually brightened my week.

This movie was SO good and i’m not trying to exaggerate, its actually been one for the best films i’ve seen in a while. I mean the last one i watched was beauty and the beast so it can’t have been that hard (no shade just did not like certain aspects of that movie). Can we actually just talk about the adorable fetus Dianna running around sneaking away to watch the other amazons fight. Also how bloody beautiful the island was. It wasn’t how i imagined it at first because of the way the cartoon version portrayed it, but now i honestly cannot see it any other way. Then chris pine in all his gorgeousness comes in and theres that whole scene with the germans and amazons fighting. When antiope died i was in tears because i just found out she was buttercup in princess bride and i’m not sure any of you now how much i fucking love the princess bride.

Despite all of this there was literally no-one in the theatre apart from few people because the majority of the films audience were still in school. This being said it didn’t stop the two girls, who were sitting directly behind us, talking and laughing like hyenas. I’m not trying to be rude, but it wasn’t even in context to the film they were just talking about what they did yesterday. Like i’m sorry Becky, but i’m tryna drool over a naked chris pine not whether or not he kissed you.  There unspoken rules when it comes to the cinema that everyone knows to respect. I’m not saying you have be completely silent or anything, but like these people were literally having a conversation in amongst the film.

However i’m not even kidding i knew it was one of the best casts when we saw  David Thewlis on the screen As soon as we saw him, i swear my friends could have just screamed Remus right then and there and the twist at the end SPOLIER okay i already told you not to read this if you haven’t watched, but if you’re still here just skip to the nest paragraph when it turned out to be him as Aries. I kinda knew that the general wasn’t ares because it just seemed too clean cut and the fight scene just wasn’t detailed enough for a superhero final fight scene, but i honestly had no idea it was going to be him.

Oh and the bits where diana and steve were dancing and that kiss was so cute. But my god when he OKAY ANOTHER FUCKING SPOILER WHY ARE YOU READING THIS JUST WATCH THE BLOODY MOVIE bloody sacrificed himself for the sake of everyone else i broke down. I not even kidding i began sobbing  and that whole scene where she hears what he said to her before he died and he gave him the watch and everything. I’m actually crying right now. Ugh my whole life i’ve shipped batman and wonder woman when steve was right in front of me UGH. I also liked the fact that he didn’t over power her. I mean its her movie. However he wasn’t a total chump and actually know his shit. He also understood that this woman is a fucking goddess and has been raised to fight her whole life by one of the best warriors in the world and stayed in his lane, but stepped up when needed.

Alright another thing i just how happy i am on how well this film did. i remember when this film was announced people were angry because gal gadot was to skinny. This really angered me as someone who has been called an anorexic flamingo too many times. I understand the want for diversty and a curvy woman, but like any other main actor they are obviously going to get fit. Did you even see the before and after pictures of chris Pratt with the guardians of the galaxy. It was actually so motivating to see her like that. After the film i went to the gym with tears in my eyes and workout trying to get some sort of muscle and i’m so proud. I’ve been trying to eat healthy for a while and i actually workout every day now and i’ve gained 2 kg in the last month. i’m only 4kg from my goal weight which i’m hoping to get it by the of the summer.

I also have dofe this weekend and i’m dreading it as there will be certain person there that i really dont want to see. There has been a lot of drama these past couple months and i was really hurt by this person. I might even make a post about him just to get out my feeling idk. So yeah i guess bye.

Day 27- Taking a break from literally everything

Despite what the title suggests i don’t mean on wordpress. Lets be honest taking a break on this blog doesn’t mean shit because it takes me about a century to post anyway. However i’m not gonna apologise because if were gonna continue being honest none of you will give a shit anyway. There are literally thousands of bloggers who produce the same type of content i produce. If i disappeared for a year no-one would notice and to be honest i like it that way. I don’t want to depend on this blog, despite my undeniable love for it. However i do wanna post more jeez idk i’ll just do whatever i can assure you that.

Anyway pointless mini rant over you may asking yourself What exactly is she taking a break from? Well good question pretty sure one no-one asked short answer Revision, long answer reeeevision. God i love reusing old jokes from the vicar of Dibley, don’t you? Back to my point i’m actually fucking sick of revision. My school put priority on the people going GCSE and those doing their A- levels and so i have my end of years in about 2 weeks. The thing is i actually did absolute shit on my last end of years on some specific subjects and i actually promised myself i would revise 2 months prior to the actual exams. Hah about that i mean i pretty sure i din’t know about the exam 2 months ago. I’ve been revising non-stop for about a week now and its really burned me out. Idi a history essay this morning and then i literally was just wandering about aimlessly for a the rest of the day and bingwatching skins and shit posting on my spam account. I was thinking about going to the fair with a huge group of people, because i haven’t mad physical contact with anyone outside my family for the past  3 days. I really want to go because i need to get out seriously and the person who invited has kinda become a disconnected friend and i REALLY want to rekindle my friendship. However this being said i really hate going out in big groups of people. When your actually out walking people have separate conversation and especially since were going to the fair and we wont have a chance to talk as big group as we have an ice-cream or something. Another reason behind my reluctance is the fact that my crush will be there. Lets for now just call him Gil (i just rewatched the 80s adaptation of Anne of the green gables and UGH!). Its not like we aren’t friends we actually talk quite a lot so he has acknowledged my existence which is nice . I’ve only just realised that his mum works with mine through an awkward encounter in the hospital. You know i’ll save that for another post. Anyways back to the point i don’t want to go because as shallow as it seems i know everyone will look so good and i replicate like the potato i am and my friend isn’t the most subtle. I’m not exaggerating, because once she literally pushed me into him and i ended up lying on top of him.

However my education isn’t the only thing i taking a break from as it seems i given up on trying to get healthy. One of my biggest insecurities is my weight or my lack of it. I was born seriously underweight and kept in an incubator for a very long time. Since then i have always been labelled as that skinny girl. My weight fluctuates like crazy. I’ve found i kinda impossible for me to keep any of the fat i gain, i really dont mean to sound like those bitches who complain about being skinny, but i am literally unhealthy. Recently it was getting better in the appearance department because of my swimming and going to the gym and gained a bit of muscle, but because the past week i have just been sitting down and doing nothing i’ve lost a lot of weight. So i kinda seems like a really fucked up ultimatum my body is giving me. Either actually revise or descend into a really unhealthy place. Also i as i mentioned in my uniquely me tag i have doctors appointments in London because my kidney is really fucked up and doesn’t work properly, they always take my weight and height and my doctor loves grilling me about my weight. I just can’t be asked to be on the end of her screams and lectures. IU told my self i’d get back to 50 kg by the end of this month but lets be honest that will never happen, but a girl can dream right. I really don’t know what to do anymore i feel so lost nowadays and don’t really have anyone to talk to. Its like everyone had phases where they got really sad and had no idea what to do, but everyones moved on from that all they can talk about is boys, petty drama and literally no-one gives a shit about anything deeper than that. Its like i’ve missed the boat and i have to be with myself about everything to do with my health and everything going on at home and at school. I don’t really know anymore. So yeah i guess bye