welp sorry bout that (31)

Right so it’s been a while how are you guys? If feel as tho this should be more of a two way relationship but unfortunately I’m to insecure to ever let anyone of you guys who I am so and well yeah. So I stated year 11 I know how have survived if I’m honest other than the occasional breakdowns I’ve been fine. Although I do start each day with the thought “wow it’s that sat time I will ever spend September 28 surrounded by these people. I personally am gonna stay at my schools sixth form just cause it’s convient and I’ll know some people but it’s weird to think some of my best friend will completely disappear next year.

Okay no won’t think about those things just yet so what been happening. I feel as though I adjusting quite well. In our first month I’ve already had 5 tests and I somehow have done okay in all of them. I really don’t want to jinx anything especially seeing as I have 3 tests on Wednesday WHY UGH, so I’ll leave it there.

What else um if anyone has been reading my tweets I unfortunately caught a bad case of having a crush. just as I was talking about not thinking about boys that often. Oh well I need to vent my frustrations. Okay so this story actually begins on my first day of reception. Equipped with only a baoc knowledge of English, second hand uniform and a Mickey Mouse bag from Poundland I finally let go of my mum wiped away the tears and sat down at a table. During that day I somehow manage to met two of the most important people in my life. I met my best friend also known as the only consistent thing in my life let’s just call her ‘J’ for now and also met the guy  this Tory is actually about. Man I really bad at staying in topic. Anywhoo I still talk to jay as we go to the same school but we’re nowhere near as close and the guy left our primary school to go to a different one in year 2. Also putting it out there our families friends so I saw him other events. Okay that was way too long long story short I would start liking him sometimes throughout my life but then stopped liking because he was arrogant or something idk. Rewind to maybe like may this year I just starting thinking about him out of nowhere. We didn’t really talk and I’d barely see him I was kinda friends with his little sister but even that friendship was dwindling. But fate was on my side. I had to switch my side groups to one held Ina completely different day. I was bonding with my new group having a nice time but who should walk in but mr arrogant himself with his group. So yeah he said hi and I lost the ability to speak. Anyways many awkward situations later we become friends and last Saturday we both happened to end up at the same party. Here I did try to put in a little effort and I actually thought I looked okay. He comes in looking amazing effortlessly in a shirt and jeans (guys are so lucky). it was quite late into the partytill I realised he was there. We make awkward eye contact across our drunk sweating friends. I smile but he fucking frowns grabs my drunk friend and start to make out with her whilst still kinda looking at me. Let’s just say I died a little inside. We haven’t talked since thank god. He probably knew I lied him and did that on purpose I wouldn’t be surprised.oh well. There’s another party today but I’m not going partly because he’s gonna be there and I don’t wanna watch him make out with othe girls tbh. Also my dad said that I’ve been acting to much like a whore lately so he threw away most of my clothes.

Well the first month of school has been quite an experience. Hey at least I’m doing alright at school. There’s hope for me yet. Who knew

2 thoughts on “welp sorry bout that (31)

  1. Wow, it’s been a VERY intense month for you! First thing’s first, it sucks that this guy is being an absolute jerk but it also sucks that you can’t help who you like. Maybe this guy does it to have a sense of power. Like, he can sense that you like him, and he makes with other girls in front of you, just to see your reaction. But either way, I don’t think this guy is worth it. The right guy won’t have to play games like that. Plus, YOU’RE STILL YOUNG! I’m only a few years older than you (18), but I know how crushes feel at your age. It feels like this persons opinions and actions mean the world to you. Trust me, it might seem difficult to believe now, but this time next year, you won’t think about him at all. Hope this helps, I just felt like you needed some love right now ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks I really appreciate it and i guess I should have seen it coming especially because he used to be such an arrogant arsehole when he was younger I just assumed he changed. Bit at least I know how he really feels about me lmao 😂 😂

      Liked by 1 person

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