Day 21 – So i turned fifteen

Okay so i was initially going to do a whole post about what I’ve done during my break and what I’ve learned from said experience, but it was really boring and i wasn’t in the mood so here i am. During this so called break one of the biggest things that happened was the celebration of my fifteenth year on this world.

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My birthday was a couple weeks back and i was going to post on that day, but to be honest i wasn’t ready and i do have to admit a unpopular opinion that I’ve been harbouring for my whole life. I hate celebrating my birthday. I honestly just prefer Christmas, you get to eat a shit ton and no-one sits there sing the same monotonous song. I’m not just saying that so i can be the edgy one that just says “birthdays, more like one year closer to death” and though thats true thats not the exact reason as to why i have such a loathing for this day.

I don’t think of the fifteen years I’ve been alive, i’ve ever had a decent birthday. The day usually consists of my standing around a small cake that my parents bought last minute on the way back from work that has happy birthday allistar scribbled on it lazily in blue icing (not complaining tho, cake is cake), whilst my family sing the infamous song out of tune and clap their hands with no sense of rhythm. They all then just do their own business after handing me card with a fiver in it. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way, its all i’ve known. However as you get older tell that story to my friends progresses from cute to just plain sad. Birthday parties have never sat well with me. As a kid my parents would never let me have a party, purely based on the fact that we couldn’t afford it. I’d feel bad for asking for one after a while, because i knew that they worked their arses off just trying to pay our rent. The more happy meals consumed at friends McDonald’s birthday parties, the bigger my hatred for birthdays grew.

Since i was thrust from mothers coin purse during the lovely season of winter, i have had the absolute pleasure of celebrating my birthday with a blanket wrapped around my body and deflecting the endless Rudolph jokes whilst rushing off every two seconds to get a new pack of tissues. This does mean if i do invite people round we just sit around eat pizza and cake with only Benedict Cumberbatch and Zac Efron to keep us company. So that what i did instead of just drinking cheap cider and watching the boys get some brain damage at the park, i thought i’d just invite my close friends over after school and just chill. We just sat on a park bench eating the fish and chips we got from the chippy and resided home to get fat on pizza and drool  over the fit guy in the year above’s instagram.

So that was the tale of a basic brown girl’s 15th birthday and although she may have enjoyed that day, her deep hatred for birthdays in general still lies inside her and probably will never change sooo yeah i guess bye.

Day 20- This is the end…. no seriously

Bear with me because honestly right now I’ve been on a huge emotion roller coaster today and i may be making a impulse decision that i will regret, but i know its for my own good. I’m pretty sure I’ve confused the huge majority of you, but what i’m trying to get at is that i’ll probably be deleting Rants, Raves and Rambles in a few days. I really don’t wants to because of the 6 months I’ve been on here my life has dramatically changed. I’ve realised that i’m not in the right state to be constantly uploading my life onto here. I have a lot going on in my life and as i joke on this blog a lot, i don’t deal with them. It only came to me yesterday that i really should. I know what you’re all saying surely you can deal with your problems and still have this blog? Well unfortunately I’ve been using a lot of little distractions to help me procrastinate, this blog being one of them. I’m actually amazed how far I’ve come. I started this blog because i was just a girl, whose friends were all abroad and was consequently bored out of her wits. I didn’t even thinks i would  get any views let alone people actually following me and reading what i have to say.

So here i am with 120 exactly followers, contemplating whether i should delete my excuse of a blog. I didn’t post every day because i’m terrible at starting posts. I know thats the worst excuse ever, but its true. I could literally sit in front of my computer screen for hours wondering whether i should start with hey guys*a horrible joke* or just an apology for not uploading for so long. Honestly this has been one of my better distractions. I’ve learned to improve my writing style, made a lot of online friends and indulged myself with the amazing blogging community. Honestly this blog has made me my happiest person and i don’t know what i would have done without this small little blog, but I’ve become a little codependent on it and thats not good. So I mean i will probably will make another blog when i’m in a better place, but i know i need to stop now. I’ll leave it up for a couple of days before this is permanently gone.

God this (much like many of my other posts) is really sappy, but yeah so i guess bye

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Day 19- 2016/2017 tag

I know i say this a lot, but i’m really sorry i haven’t updated in a while, its just I’ve been really busy. I mean I’ve literally had to skip school so i can go on WordPress and stalk all of your blogs, that and i’m literally dying. However this post isn’t all look how pathetically sad i am ’cause guess what…. I got nominated for another tag!!

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I have alot more to do, but seeing as it is almost the end of January i should probably do this before its 2018.  I was tagged by Jazzy Blogs who is a beautiful human being so you should probably check her out. This tag was created by David so go check him out too.

So yeah…

Rules:

  1. Mention the creator of the tag.
  2. Use the image in the article.
  3. Mention the blogger who has chosen you.
  4. Answer the questions.
  5. Nominate 9 other bloggers/friends and let them know.

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1. Describe your 2016 in three words.

Jeez i don’t really know, my 2016 has been very mixed: Demanding. Eye-opening. Cleansing.

2. Name 2 people who have characterized your 2016.

Damn i’m really bad at these, but i guess Wes Anderson. Over the course of 2016 i’ve grown very fond of his style and the way he directs. The Grand Budapest Hotel is one of my favourite films and i personally found the H&M christmas adverts to be one of the best. Another was Alan Rickman, his death really struck me, especially with it being so close to my birthday. When me and my friends found out we spent the next week with blood shot eyes and unable to form a bloody sentence. I grew up watching Harry potter (like many others) and i’m not going to lie i hated snape, but as i grew older he grew on me and held a soft spot in my heart.

3. Write the most beautiful place you’ve visited in 2016 and why you liked it so much.

I didn’t really travel during 2016, but i found this really cute hideout with my friends, but its in the middle of the woods so we’re constantly scared we’ll be killed by the druggies that currently inhabit the woods.

4. Write the most delicious food you’ve tasted in 2016.

Well putting aside the time i went vegan  for a month in the summer, it would probably be the lemon and poppy seed muffin i was given during my work shadowing day. Seriously it was like i’d died and gone to heaven.

5. Write the event which has marked you more of your 2016.

Its kinda of an event, but it was when i finally let go of some toxic friendships and and the other time i starting going crazy because i thought i was going blind, but my glasses were just dirty, that was a very dark time in life.

6. What’s the finest purchase you’ve made in 2016.

I didn’t really make many purchases this year (mostly because i’m cheap and broke), but i would be the my faux leather note book i brought from wilko. I’ve written and doodled about the most random stuff in there. However it’s really useful, because i can vent about whatever the hell i want.

7. Write 3 good intentions for 2017.

I want to definitely blog more for a start and work on my confidence, building stronger friendships with the right people. Not be as sensitive , but if someone is being a down right bitch actually tell them instead of hold a grudge and bottling it up.

8. Write one place you want to visit in 2017.

I mentioned this in my bucket list, but i want to visit my granddads’ old pub in Ireland. He died in 2016 so i never got the chance to do it with him, but i want to visit it and hold a memorial, because i know the people in the town loved him as much as we did so yeah thats very high on my list.

9. One plate/food you want to eat in 2017.

Spaghetti bolognese, my ultimate comfort food.

My nominations:

Right if any of you have ever read my other tags you’d know this is the bit i dread, because i hate picking and choosing but i’ll open this up to anyone who wants to do this, but in the sake of carrying this on i’ll pick 9 people.

Bella

artist by beauty

Muse

Thought in Life

Shivani

Teacher of YA

Rayan

Nyse

Lavender Sky

Have fun and i guess bye 🙂 .

Day 18- 100 followers & shameless promo :)

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Guess what guys I REACHED 100 FOLLOWERS ON THIS BLOG and honestly i’m so ecstatic. I didn’t even think i would get anyone reading my blog let alone 100 people following me. I don’t really know what to say other than thank you for taking time out of your lives to read my random arse rambles about literally nothing.

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Sorry about my unnecessary use of gifs, but i feel like i should i have put Brad Pitt, Stephen Colbert and Gryffindor on my blog at one point so why not all at once. To celebrate this momentous achievement i have decided to finally make a twitter for this blog. I’ve already followed around 600 bloggers, but if i’ve missed you i’m sorry just comment them. Also follow me because why the hell not and you’ll be able to experience my horrible sarcastic humour restricted to just 140 characters.  My Twitter so yeah i guess bye :).

Day 17-New Years Resolutions

Its that time of year again when people across the globe scribble down their goals that they delude themselves into think that they can achieve throughout the course of the next year, because the earth has completed another orbit around the sun. Or maybe its just me. Anyways here are my resolutions for the coming year of 2017, hopefully a lot better than 2016:

  1. Get more fit/healthy- I have realised a huge flaw in all my previous resolutions because losing weight won’t help me in any way. I’m already a healthy weight, but what i have realised is that i am very unfit.I literally get tired walking down the stairs. Other than my swimming and running for the bus i don’t do alot if exercise especially in school holidays when I do little to none. So for 2017 my friends and i are joining a gym in order to stop being lazy couch potatoes and do our physical section for DofE.
  2. Write more posts- I started this blog because i was bored during the summer holidays because i was bored and it was something to pass the time, but over the last couple of months it grown into something so much more important to me. It is probably one of the only things in my life that i can control completely so i really want to improve and get better. That being said i also need to find a way balance my school life, swimming and my social life with this so i’m not quite sure really
  3. Revise for tests at least 2 weeks prior- For some stupid arse reason i tend to only study for tests literally the day before and i still get upset when i don’t do well. I used to be that person that was naturally smart and picked things up really quickly, but things have changed and i refused to adapt to that, but i really need to start doing so or at this rate i’ll fail my GCSEs.
  4. Take some time out of the week to focus on my well being- Whether it be physical or mental, but i’ve realised that i don’t really take care of my body. Sitting around with junk food watching movies and getting less than 2 hours sleep isn’t very good for you and does affect your mood quite significantly.
  5. Improve my social life- I joke quite a lot about never going out on this blog, but thats not necessarily a joke. I do go out, but i flake on my friends so often i know thats annoying them. If someone invites me to a party i get really anxious about being around people i don’t know that well. I know thats not going to help me when i’m older and have to make new friends, so i really do have to go out more.
  6. Stop drinking excessive coffee/energy drinks- During 2016 i made the switch from my daily milky brew to around 6 black coffee a day and i’m really feeling the affects. I don’t really drink milk anymore which doesn’t really help my teeth and bones. Coffee and Emerge (a really cheap energy drink in my corner shop) are the only things that help me function and without it causes an extreme lack of sleep, which as you may have guessed is not very good for me.
  7. Fight any injustices I see- The past couple of months in 2016 have been filled with injustices, but thats not dues to 2016, its the people to performed these things. They only did thiese things because they were allowed to and not enough people challenged their bigoted views. I’m not going to lie to you and say i’m some sort of tough free-spirited girl because tbh i’m really timid and shy and hate confortation. Things have to change and if that means altering my personality so be it.

I know that not many, but those were the most important on my list and the ones I want to focus on most. Happy new year guys hopefully 2017 won’t be as shit as 2016 (crossing my fingers). So yeah i guess bye :).

Day 16- Boxing Day Blues

got the bluesssssss, Boxing Day Blues! Happy Boxing day everyone, i hope you all have had a great Christmas because mine was surprisingly amazing. I’m currently sitting on my sofa trying to figure out how my family managed to pull off a half decent Christmas. Unfortunately i was unable to watch any Christmas specials other than Eastenders which was amazing btw, so i am trying to cram in as much specials as i can in one day. I also watched the least festive movies yesterday, unless you categorize The Lion king and Bridget Jones Baby as festive or even remotely christmassy (is that a word?).

However i somehow have managed to be home alone with only my sister who studying like crazy for her A-Levels to keep me company on Boxing Day. My cousins left in the morning, both my parents are at work and my brother is cycling around our local park trying burn off all he ate yesterday and i’m here watching the call the midwife Christmas special. Its also my friends birthday so i’ll probably just drop off some plum cake (inside joke) at his house, before his mum gets back from the Boxing day sales (i feel like she hates me??).

I’m also a bit hungover because my dad thought it would be great to let me and my cousins have a little alcohol (why you ask, i don’t know. He was probably drunk himself), but somehow a little turned into a lot and lets just say a lot of regrettable snapchats were sent . Turns out i’m an emotional giddy drunk as i was laughing hysterically interrupting inexpiable sobs. So yeah if anyone has a cure for a stabbing migraine, please comment them.

Christmas in my household isn’t the most organised its a tradition for my family to be unorganized and yesterday was no exception. We had unexpected guests that stayed the day and not enough food to feed all of us. We had midnight mass the night of Christmas and so we only woke up at 9:00 and because i already opened the presents my friends gave beforehand i stuck with unwrapping 2 separate Lynx gift sets from 2 separate families.  After that the women stated making the food and the men watched TV, drank beer and talked about politics. I know it sounds sexist, but thats literally what happens. The only job my dad was given in that whole day was setting the Christmas pudding on fire. My and my cousin were in charge of  the vegetable which unsurprisingly we messed up. the parsnips were all different sizes so some were overcooked and others were under cooked, but all in all it was okay. I mean The house wasn’t set on fire this time so i would call it a successful Christmas. I guess everyone needed a good Christmas after what a shit year its been. Lets hope its onwards and upwards for 2017.

So i know this wasn’t too long a blog post and i’ll probably add more to it later, but for now i just have to sit around finishing the mince pies that literally no-one ate. i can kinda see why my family call me a vacuum cleaner, i could literally live off other peoples leftovers. So yeah i guess bye :).

Day 15- Just a little update

I’m really sorry i haven’t updated i a while and i’m really surprised that i’ve only written one post on Christmas, seeing as it is my favourite time of the year. However a lot has happened in my life since my last post and i didn’t really have the time or emotional stability to write and i know thats really not an excuse, but i probably will be posting more…or less?? I don’t really know at the moment, it depends whether i can actually face up to my problems and try and o something about it or i can distract myself with this blog. Probably the latter, knowing me. So yeah i guess bye :).

Day 14- 36 sleeps ’till christmas

Now anyone who knows me would fully understand that i may be kinda obsessed with Christmas, but with the immensely shit year that we all have had I’ve kinda been distracted from what i feel is the best season of the year.

Having devout catholic parents Christmas was never really about Santa or festiveness. It was about the birth of Christ and how the incarnation of the lord should not be shadowed by commercial nonsense. I think that the religious message is important, hell singing Christmas hymns at the midnight mass is one of favourite things. However being the little rebel i was, i would sneak down stairs just to put 8 carrots and some mince pies for Santa and his reindeer like

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but he never did. Just kidding honestly though i think i have an unhealthy relationship with Christmas. I mean i understand i’m clingy, but its just because i love it right…right. Someone help me. Seriously i get way to excited by the fact that Costa changes the colour of their cup, i can layer up and there are sales. Is it weird that wrapping Christmas presents gives me some sort of pleasure (Don’t even try and twist that). Our form just got our secret santa and we spent the whole of lunching sitting around a huge table making decorations for our formroom, stuffing our faces with food people brought in (i brought doritos) and listening to Wham, Buble and Mariah Carey. We were literally the only form in the whole school to do this voluntarily. Also if anyone is wondering what to get me for Christmas, please for the love of god just persuade Lin Manuel Miranda to perform Hamilton in London at least once and a new laptop. I mean it may be a bit awkward because the whole plot is about the revolution against the British, but people will be so mesmerized by the songs no-on will really care. I think. So i guess bye :).

Day 13- THREE DAYS THREE QUOTES: DAY THREE

I want to thank the queen Queen JoJo for nominating me for the 3 days 3 quotes challenge, so check her out because her blog is literally (yes i do mean literally and not figuratively) perfection. So yeah.

THE RULES:

  • Show the challenge on your blog.
  • Thank your nominator.
  • Pick a favorite quote, explain what it means and tell your readers why you chose that quote.
  • Nominate people for every post
  • Post the challenge once a day for 3 days and include one quote for each post.

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This is probably one of my favourite quotes. My english teacher showed it to us for no apparent reason and i just loved it. It currently stuck on my bedroom wall alongside picture and me and friends making derpy faces so you know its important to me. It taught me that no matter how much you wants from life you have to have courage and have to work for them. I guess I like it so much because i’m a Gryffindor. So i guess bye :).

Day 12- THREE DAYS THREE QUOTES: DAY TWO

I want to thank the queen Queen JoJo for nominating me for the 3 days 3 quotes challenge, so check her out because her blog is literally (yes i do mean literally and not figuratively) perfection. So yeah.

THE RULES:

  • Show the challenge on your blog.
  • Thank your nominator.
  • Pick a favorite quote, explain what it means and tell your readers why you chose that quote.
  • Nominate people for every post
  • Post the challenge once a day for 3 days and include one quote for each post.

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Hunchback of Notre Dame is probably one of my favourite animated films. Everyone can relate to Quasimodo at least once in their life, being the social pariah is not fun, but there is no point watching other people live their life locked up in a tower (or your bedroom). If you see a opportunity in life take and don’t give two shits what others think, because if thats all you care about you’re not really living your best life. So i guess bye :).